You seem better to him here, and that pleases him. “I’m sure we do. What would you like? The better question is: do we have anything to drink it out of?” You smile lightly, since that was a lame attempt at a joke.
Who said anything about mind tricks? I’m literally going to pick up the wood, and shove it through your good eye. Seems like a much better idea than anything you might have.
Surprisingly, besides destroying your tree, he’d done nothing to warrant any action against (besides existing), so you’d sit and do nothing. Either he throws the punch that ends him, or this would be nothing more than witty banter between the two of you. You wouldn’t give him the pleasure of acting out towards him. Never.
There’s only one thing wrong with that. I’m still between you and the tree parts, and I have no intention of just stepping casually aside and letting you grab one. You’re more than welcome to give it a shot, though.
Shit, had you really come all this way just to do this again in person? Maybe you were going to have to make the first move, but you couldn’t just let him think he could wield you like a marionette.
| — |
truth (via derpderpmotherfuckers) |
“Sorry, that can be a little startling if you’re not used to it.” Kneeling again in front of the couch, he deposits you there, propping the crutches up next to you. “Can I get you anything?”
Glaring intently from behind tinted shades would only do so much, though he deserved no eye contact from you. His stance shifts and you half prepare yourself for an attack, tensing up and rooting your feet to the ground. When nothing happens, you draw your hand up from its spot, up to your hair, running your fingers backwards through it, smirk widening as you calm yourself once more. Not like he could do much anyways.
Four removed limbs counts as a flesh wound, correct? Or am I misinterpreting old film? Either way, I could always just use those branches behind you to sever an artery or two.
And here I thought you were the one who didn’t use freaky mind tricks like that. That seems like it would be a cheap way to win, but I don’t mind having a little more wood for the fire.
Cool and calm, so that was how he wanted to play it? Fine. You were pleased he got the film reference that had flitted through your think pan, even though it would be him that got the flesh wound if you had anything to say about it.
After you’re settled and he’s got both you and the crutches properly balanced, he gently sets off for home, his earth home, that is. He makes his way to a transportalizer nearby and utilizes it, landing just outside the shed at the house. “I really should move this thing to a more convenient place, but it’s just easier to leave it where Bro did.” He comments before finally heading into the house.
Staring dead into his eyes with your snarl getting more vicious, baring your serrated fangs at him, your eyes narrow behind the signature tinted lenses you near always wear. You’d ways of getting higher than him, but those would be saved for later if you needed them. For now, you’d keep at the same level of aggression.
Oh no, I got exactly what I wanted. You screaming like a wriggler. I didn’t want you to be cut into pieces. No that’s my job. I wouldn’t give foliage that honour. It’s going to be me that severs anything from you if it so happens tonight.
If he was trying to provoke you into doing something stupid, it wasn’t going to work. Your experiences and lack of an eye have made you more cautious. That meant you tended to control your temper better than you used to. Your stance shifts into one of controlled readiness, set to pounce at a moment’s notice if the right opportunity presented itself and equally set to respond to any move of his.
And yet, the foliage stood a better shot of slicing something from me than you do. The worst you might visit upon me is a flesh wound.
He carefully stands, hoisting you up with him. Once he’s sure you’re secure, he grabs the crutches and starts for home, or rather the transportalizer that leads home. “Let me know if you get too uncomfortable or anything. It’s not that far, but that doesn’t always matter.”
Half of you told you to step back and keep the distance between you and him, and half said such a movement would show weakness and fear. So you stayed still, head tilted high in a show of authority and you stared him down, hoping he’d get stabbed by part of his desecration of your plants.
As if I didn’t put you there on purpose. Maybe I was hoping that you’d get your other eye get stabbed out and then I could use you as a punching bag. Who knows. Definitely isn’t me.
You crossed your arms, lips curled violently as you let a vicious snarl out instinctively. You don’t even remember the last time you did that. Quality anger release right here. This was good.
<p >No such luck. He’d navigated more complex arrangements of plant matter back in his original home, and then again in this timeline. A simple pile of branches wouldn’t really phase him. The more aggressive his stance becomes, the more you seek to match and exceed it, stalking over to him and pulling yourself up to your full height. The words that follow his snarl are delivered in something bordering on a growl.
Perhaps you did do that on purpose. I don’t feel the need to search the outer reaches of the universe to find out. Whatever your ploy was, it obviously didn’t succeed, since I’m still here in the exact number of pieces I came in. I wonder if you’ll be able to say the same when it’s time for me to leave. Who knows. Certainly not me.
it’s a good think i think.
and that’s actually a pity because it takes less muscles to smile than to frown.
YOU THINK? YOU ONLY THINK, HUH?
WHO SAID I WAS FROWNING ALL THE TIME.
A NEUTRAL EXPRESSION DOESN’T NECESSARILY MEAN I’M FROWNING, AND THAT PROBABLY TAKES NO MUSCLES WHATSOEVER.
well he said things like that, but i am pretty sure he didn’t mean them. i think i might have even caught him smiling once. ok, it might have been squinting at the sun, but i am still absolutely positive he totally liked it!
it’s more complicated than that, dude. sure, proper execution of a complex prank is its own joy. but sometimes even the simplest acts can be the funniest. pranks and the reactions people have to them both are like this wide, beautiful rainbow of glorious prankery.
I’M PRETTY SURE HE PROBABLY DID, AND I’M SURE HE WAS SQUINTING AT THE SUN. IF HE LIKED IT, HE’S MORE DELUSIONAL THAN I THINK YOU MUST BE. I LOOKED THAT PLACE UP. IT’S…BEYOND DISTURBING.
I THINK THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON WHY I WILL NEVER JOIN YOU IN YOUR PRANKS. BESIDES, I PREFER THE STRAIGHTFORWARD APPROACH.
He broke apart your tree, the tree that stood there for an unknown amount of time, provided the perfect amount of shade. In hindsight, you should’ve put him in the jungle, that way the trees he cut were of no interest to you. Not much you could do now though, other than stare down the other troll that’d just destroyed the singular piece of lush greenery in your yard. Good thing you could just accelerate its growth later. For now you had an idiot in your presence, and you couldn’t let one stumble blindly through the broken tree. They might hurt themselves.good job karkat. proud of you.
He asked for it with that little stunt. You could tell he wasn’t really pleased with your work on his flora, but that just gave you reason to gloat.
Thanks. I thought I did a pretty good job with that overgrown shrub myself. Next time you might want to double check your numbers. Someone less capable might have gotten hurt.
You smile, letting the malicious mirth touch your single eye. He was every bit as you remembered. You pick your way over the pile dividing the two of you.
“That was my thought as well, but since you’re the parcel, I thought I would let you choose.” He stands up and kneels in front of you, looking behind him and ready to help you onto his back if you need it.
so that’s what you look like when you smile!
IS THE WAY I LOOK A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING?
ALSO, DON’T GET USED TO IT, SINCE IT DOESN’T HAPPEN VERY OFTEN.
